Do you have difficulty assuming positive intent?
Assuming positive intent and non-malicious action from others is difficult. Especially if you have a high ACE score. (Determine yours here: ACE Score)
For those of you who have heard me speak, I usually start by sharing that you’re seeing someone in front of you who has a high ACE (adverse childhood experiences) score and someone who probably shouldn’t have made it beyond 18 years of age.
I share this information with you, not as a shock factor, but for awareness that people like myself, and maybe people like you, can generate with regard to acknowledgment and repair.
Changed behavior is possible. People like me can contribute and we matter, even if our past didn’t always reflect that.
For years, I operated with a mindset and a belief that everything that happened to me as a kid was going to continue happening to me as an adult. It was often easier to blame other people versus taking the time to look within.
My high ACE score meant that I had a hard time regulating emotions, and even more difficulty building relationships or trusting people. It was difficult to assume positive intent. In fact, my brain was/is hard-wired to assume malicious intent. Especially in professional settings at work!
While what happened to me at an early age was out of my control, and not my responsibility, it is my responsibility as a grown adult now, and within my control to be aware of my impact on other people and how I might be trying to engage in behaviors that are not in line with my integrity.
While I was a victim, I am no longer one - releasing a victim mindset took time, new skills, and confidence.
When I think about ACE scores in general, it’s a great place to start for all of us. Anyone can have difficulty assuming positive intent, it requires vulnerability and trust but if you have a high ACE score, it can be harder. The assessment can help us generate some language and deeper awareness of our upbringing, and what might be getting in the way of some of our dreams, goals, leadership aspirations, and more.
The healing that’s required by abuse and neglect survivors is exactly that - required and necessary. Especially if we want the chance to live our best lives in and out of the workplace.
For more information about ACE’s and resources: https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/
